Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Motherhood is Not for the Weak

"Um, Mom, I just threw up a little bit on the boys bathroom floor. "


That music you're hearing is straight off the psycho soundtrack!

Thoughts are racing through my head as the gagging begins...

How did you miss it by a whole foot?
That is NOT a little bit, that is the entire contents of your stomach!
Towel? Mop? Paper towel?
Trash can? Toilet? Shower? Sink? Washer?

The heaving starts and I must run for a breath of fresh air, while hovering near the trash can just in case.

I opt for tossing a towel over the mess. Then scoop and toss it in the running shower. Ugh. Now what? I quickly scour the floor for other used towels. It takes three. Plus a little of the OMS (old man shuffle) with the clothes that people did not put in the basket.

Ah yes, Revenge is sweet. Those who can't figure out where the hamper is, just had their clothes washed with the barf. Bwahahahahah!

Then the age old question...What the Heck did you EAT!?!

Doncha love the perks that come with Motherhood?

12 comments:

Jules said...

Oh my gosh that is soooooo funny and soooooo true and soooooo gross!!! My hubby has a weak stomach, so it's me that gets the joy of this cleanup, whether it's from the dog or the kids. Not a fun motherhood responsibility. I'm impressed you managed to not "add" to the mess.

Mamarazzi said...

i LOVE that you used the clothes left on the floor to clean up the mess...that is awesome!

Crazymamaof6 said...

ha ha ha. so funny! i would be yelling 'HONNNEEY! someone puked on the floor" even if it's me he does the duty. Ah. delight.

michelle said...

You are making me laugh over here. Puke is one thing that makes me sooo sick! Motherhood is for the strong at heart! :)

Jaina said...

Yuck..no.

Jen said...

Oh my heck, that is nasty, but hilarious! i love that you used the family's clothes that weren't properly put in their place. Sorry you had to deal with that. Puke is the worst!

Are You Serious! said...

♥ I'm with you 100%, you leave your stuff on the floor and it's up for grabs!!! I feel for you, I do! Did I tell you about the time that Livvy put puke in my hand? I was driving and Joe was sleeping in the passenger seat. Liv was carring on about who knows what all I could hear and understand was don't want it. So finally I said then give to me and put my hand out behind my chair! She handed me PUKE! Yep very nice. And there was no shoulder on the road I had to wait about 2 minutes with nasty puke in my hand I thought was I was going to loose it right there!!! :)

Sue and Mark said...

When my boys were little I told them if they missed the throw up bowl, or toilet I would leave it on the floor for them to pick up. Seriously, I would put a towel over it. They never missed again.

Mean mommy or smart mommy--I don't know but it worked for me.

Cecily R said...

The whole post made me laugh (sorry), but the OMS is the BEST. Holy crap, that is how Jon "mops" the floor...he will be so excited when I tell him you've named his technique!

ValleyGirl said...

Hahaha, I'm with Mamarazzi! Too funny! Motherhood really is not for the faint of heart!!

Debe said...

you make even the worst moments funny!

Michelle said...

Puking...one of my favorite things about motherhood. So far I have one who does it all the time (like his Dad) and one who never does (like me) so it's basically even. Luke will be the deciding factor...

Blog Widget by LinkWithin