Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Community Service Message brought to you through the wonder of email and the CDC

Man Flu - The Facts...

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.

*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognized as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonizing symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Spider Man, Vin Diesel and Bruce Willis combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Thera-Flu, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just laying around enjoying 'CSI' it is a commonly recognized medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Gil Grissom’s voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.

(Note from Hotmama - Nope. I didn't write it, but it was too funny not to share.)


Kristina P. said...

Very funny! But I have to admit, I'm a big baby when I'm sick.

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Dang hilarious and oh so TRUE!!!

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Oh so very true the world will end to men with the Man Flu!! Thanks for sharing! :D

ValleyGirl said...

Hahahahaha!!! I so rarely laugh out loud when I'm reading by myself, but this was an exception. TOO FUNNY!!!

Bonnie the Boss said...

So true and so funny! The monkey head falling off was one of my favorite parts.

Leslie said...

i LOVED your potty training posting. i got a good laugh... especially about the toilet paper roll and how it looks. aaron jr is doing so well at potty training, BUT he has finally reached the point where he uses more than half a roll on one poop session.
anyhow, thanks for the loving support. :)

Bogner's said...

This sounds dangerously like my husbands inner thoughts... did somebody steal them?

Anonymous said...

To funny, but so true! Glad you post it.

Mamarazzi said...

super funny and sadly true!

sorry i haven't been by. we have been dealing with some real life drama here...finding time for anything else has been a challenge.

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